In general I am surprised by the people who have added me to their favorites. Some of them are older than my own father, others are in BFE and I have no idea how they came across my profile, while others are okay. Needless to say, none of them have really struck my interests.
The internet is vast and with the added protection of a computer screen people feel more invincible. What I mean to say is, I don't know whether online dating has helped or hurt me. On one hand I am more readily able to weed out the creepers and bottom dwelling scum suckers, however, that also makes me wonder if not everyone is a freak and there is a reason an attractive, well off, intelligent, funny, charming and humble (Lord, let's not forget humble) woman is still single around my age. I'm using my bitterness to create art for the masses.
It doesn't take much to get a reply from me. But I find that most men really don't have the ability to take a few simple steps.
1.) Show you have read my profile, anything even if it's an obscure reference. Something showing you didn't just hover over my pictures and decide to leave your trough and slew your slop at me.
2.) Don't message vulgarities, a little common courtesy gets you far.
3.) Realize if you messaged me and it was nice, I will read your profile and see if you would be worth my time. Good God, please make it worth the time and effort.
Don't just message me like this:
"Hi there, how are you doing?
So you don't mind the distance as I take it?"
(Actual message sent this week)
What does that even mean? What makes you think I wouldn't mind long distance? What in my profile said I was okay with any area? Your message confuses me, and we're not even out of the honeymoon stage, dearest!
I have had many people message me. Being as busy as I am with my career and school I don't always answer right away. This is how I found out about the mass e-mailings. It is what spawned rule number one. I have many cases of this. One such example this week.
On August 31st someone sent me a lovely message.
"hi,
wow your so so beautiful.
i would love to know you better.
do you have skype?"
On September 15th he sent me the same message again. Desperation is a stinky cologne. Not only did he send me the same message again, he has mass e-mailed it so many times, he forgot he mailed me before! Nor did he fix his punctuation, grammar and capitalization. Also there was nothing of substance within the message itself that made me want to contact him. His profile was also lacking. I hate mass e-mailings.
This is one case of many. The most extreme case was a Japanese man had e-mailed me. He said he saw my city I was in and it wasn't that far from where he was. He sounded intelligent and had lived overseas for some time so maybe our different cultures wouldn't clash as much. Who am I to be picky (Thank the Gods I am, otherwise we wouldn't have this little gem of a blog)? His message was good until I got to the end. His closing was this "Kisses XoXo"
Japanese men come on strong to foreign women. Many will say "I love you!" within the first few minutes of meeting you. Even if they are already married and are serious. Yes, this has happened to me. I dislike their childlike way of flirting and even more so the immaturity that is Japanese dating. If we have a problem lets ignore it until it goes away. Since we can't talk about our feelings, lets play jealousy games to gauge how we both feel. I wrote my graduation thesis on the power dynamics in interpersonal relationships in East Asia. I've been scarred for life.
So his message was already undergoing the third degree with my scrutiny of whether he can look past his culture as well as myself. The kisses just made me hit delete. Not until after calling my mom and telling her and us both getting a good laugh out of it.
Next week he messages me again, same message, followed with kisses and all. I ignored it for the second time.
By the third week, he had e-mailed me in Spanish. WTF?!? Now, it seems an interesting way to message me, as far as logic would deduce anyhow. I understand I haven't mailed you back, messaging me again to see if it didn't go through. Maybe I didn't just ignore your blatant disregard for my personality. Could be messages went astray. However, if you look at my profile, it's all in English. I don't even speak Spanish. Why he messaged me the third time, I don't know. I'm even more confused as to why he chose Spanish, I look more European than Hispanic. I understand white women are a delicacy in the pallet of an Asian man. I understand they come on strong to us, and will not back down. But seriously, guy, take a hint.....
.... por favor.
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